Black Thursday?

Wikipedia Common License

You vs. all of Humanity come Black Friday.

Mackenzie McClay, Writer

Thanksgiving: the time of year everyone gives thanks for the abundance of friends, family, food, and all the worldly possessions they own and cherish. Of course, immediately after announcing their gratefulness for what they already have, some will decide to speed over to the nearest Wal-Mart and smack their way through the crowds with rolled up coupon books in the desperate pursuit of more hundred dollar TVs and cheap Christmas decorations. Yes, this year it appears that stores everywhere will be opening up for the Black Friday stampede on Thursday. Increasing demand from desperate shoppers has reached company ears, resulting in opening the doors at increasingly early hours each year. This time around sales may start as early as 5 pm Thursday.

The move is controversial. Workers from large chain stores have loudly proclaimed their dismay at the loss of time they can spend with family, while the public and the charts of possible profits for businesses scream otherwise. Malls are also starting sales early to cater to the chain stores within them. Among these are the Rockaway, Livingston, and Bridgewater Malls, all opening at 6pm on Thanksgiving.  However, some stores are refusing to bend to the cries of the masses. Nordstrom and Pier 1 imports, for example, will stay closed until after all the turkeys have been eaten.

While debates rage over the increasingly early door buster sales, some have decided to follow suit and pitch their tents earlier as well.  In Beaumont, California, two friends already sit in wait for their discounted electronics outside of a Best Buy, still many days away from the shopping spree. They are two people who will definitely appreciate the earlier hours the store is planning to schedule. So this year, those of you who want to net fantastic sales on sweaters might have to skip the pumpkin pie and dive right into the feeding frenzy of consumerism, pumping that Christmas music that started playing in September as loud as the radio will allow.